15 December 2008

Blackcurrant Rye Beer

As Christmas approaches, the LCBO never fails to take advantage of the added stress the holiday season inevitably brings with it. This typically means a roll-out of "seasonal" beers and liquors. This also means a plethora of unique and bizarre concoctions for the adventurous (or just plain stupid). Throwing good taste aside, I ventured into the liquor store to find some of the worst products to be pushed onto the buying public in the name of hoiday cheer. As usual, I was not disappointed.

It was actually Brian who spotted this fine example of why brewmasters should be tested for schizophenia before being hired. Perhaps he thought that I would enjoy this dicordant mixture, but in retrospect I think he just wanted to watch me to drink a big glass of misery. Regardless, I picked the bottle up and examined the label, which had a nice rendition of the winter solstice on it.. "Blackcurrant Rye Beer" jumped at me like a neon sign. I reasoned that I like blackcurrants, enjoy rye and have an insatiable thirst for beer so this should be a somewhat enjoyable experience. How could I go wrong? Unfortunately, I had no idea how wrong I could possibly be.

Back at Brian's, I popped the cap on this one and poured it into a pint glass. It didn't smell offensive, so I dove in with a large mouthful, and it hit my tongue like a train wreck. It hardly resembled beer in any form I have ever tried before. It tasted like watered-down prune juice with very little upside on the palate, and a very flat profile. I practically had to force it down., and did not enjoy the experience at all. Brian, who was undoubtedly amused by this display, tried to inspire me to finish the glass. To be quite honest, I made a Herculean effort to drain it, but in the end it defeated me. Brian actually got so tired of waiting for me to finish the vile brew that he took the glass and sinked it. I was never so glad to have someone pour out a beer in my entire life.

The experience brings up something I have thought about for a long time. What is with this current trend of mixing beer with fruit? I could see the possibility of trying to make cooler-like brews that would appeal to women, but I could never imagine a woman getting past an initial taste of this swill. The final verdict is that fruit juice simply does not belong in beer. AVOID!

6 comments:

Plaidstallions said...

I actually "toileted" it. It tasted like flat beer and prune juice IMO, truly a glass of despair.....

Liquor Pig said...

Apparently we are not the only ones who think this stuff is crap.

http://www.ratebeer.com/beer/heritage-black-currant-rye-ale/67503/

Ted said...

I made a Herculean effort to drain it, but in the end it defeated me.

I laughed so hard I almost pissed myself.

John III said...

Maybe a more Thor effort instead of Hercules? But I digress, I feel for you on that one. Sorry man.

Anonymous said...

"Tested for schizophrenia??" Why use this term to criticize the makers of a toxic-sounding drink?? The serious health problems that the diagnosis of Schizophrenia brings is not a joking matter...... what a pity people don't think about the damage that ignorance does!!

Liquor Pig said...

Let me explain my position:

I can see how someone may think that the combination of blackcurrants and rye could possibly result in a decent beverage (I did buy the finished product, after all). However, anyone who thought this stuff would sell (or even be marketable) after tasting it must be suffering from a disassociative mental state. As it is obvious you do not agree, I strongly suggest picking up a bottle of this tripe and tasting it for yourself. Hell, write a review if you feel so inspired, and I'll post it on here for the world to see - just don't blame me if you get violently ill in the process.